I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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