i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
