Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
