anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
