He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
