Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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