I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
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