You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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