I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize