Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
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