It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize