Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
