Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He has the fingertips of a God
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
