they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
