Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
