Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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