we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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