making cat noises will not fix the situation.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
