I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
