She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
