whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
