how can u be prego again
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
