I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
