it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
