dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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