About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
