You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
