I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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