remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
