C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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