Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
