Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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