I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
