dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
