living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
