she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
