I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
