New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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