butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
