a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
This is not my ceiling
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
