Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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