im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
