my mouth tastes like poor choices
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
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I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
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He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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