You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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