Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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