we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
There's even glitter on my cock...
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