I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
