I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize