I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
