I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
