What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
