i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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