What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize
