DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
