even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
