Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
