And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
