We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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