even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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