I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
