why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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