i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
