If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize