You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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